Staying Positive
- Shelley Shares: A Message from Shelley
- Making Life Easier Tips: Keeping a Positive Attitude
- Making Life Easier Services, Resources, and Products
- Quotes of the Month
- Questions for our Readers
 1. Shelly Shares Staying Positive
When I was diagnosed with MS, my life changed forever. At the time, I was
32 years old and my husband David and I had been married 10 years. Our daughter
Jamie was five; our son Andy was three. I remember how determined I was to
not “give in” to the illness and let it affect my family and me.
But the disease had other ideas. On a daily basis, I lost physical abilities.
I made changes, adapted, and compromised. I consolidated tasks and looked
for short cuts. I stopped doing all but essential activities. It’s hard
to describe how emotionally painful it was to lose physical abilities day
after day. I was in my 30’s but had the body and energy level of someone
much older. With ever increasing disability, I was petrified about the future,
frustrated by my lack of control, and in a constant state of grieving.
For many years, the depression over living with an uncertain future made me
sad and despondent. It wasn’t easy to stay positive, and I can tell you
I threw many a Pity Party where I was the Guest of Honor.
Yet somewhere inside of me a little voice said, “I don’t want
to be sad and unhappy. It’s too painful.” It took me a long time
to understand that if I wanted to have a happy life, despite my health problems,
I was going to have to work on making my life better. Here’s what has
helped me “look to the sunshine.” Perhaps my thoughts will help
you.
2. Making Life Easier Tips – Keeping a Positive Attitude
Put yourself and your needs first. It’s not selfish
or self-centered. You must take care of yourself first. You are the authority
regarding your own body. Rest when you’re tired. Be protective about
how you spend your time and energy. Do the things that are important to you
and your family. Give yourself permission to say “No,” and don’t
feel guilty. When you’re feeling better, you can say, “Yes.”
Keep learning about your illness or disability. Check out
research efforts. Are there treatments or cures on the horizon? Are there
new treatments or medicines for which you would qualify? I’d never suggest
abandoning traditional western medicine, but keep your mind open to alternative
or complementary medical treatments, (acupuncture, yoga, biofeedback, magnets,
special diets, etc.). Western doctors are the first to admit they don’t
have all the answers.
Surround yourself with caring, loving, and nurturing people
- family members, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. Reduce or eliminate the
amount of time you spend with toxic people. They will pull you down, drain
your energy, and deplete your strength.
Tell people about your illness and include them in your life.
Your friends may not know about your illness or disability and may not know
what to say or what to do. So tell them. Remember to also tell your hair stylist,
dentist, and salespeople (as appropriate) that you may have tremors, lose
your balance, move slowly, or have difficulties speaking because of your illness
or disability. Ask for their help when you need it. People feel good when
they can do something for someone else.
Make the effort to do things that bring you joy - laugh,
put a smile on your face. Even when you feel there is nothing to laugh or
smile about, force yourself to smile. It’s impossible to cry when you
have a smile on your face. Try it!
3. Services, Resources and Products for Making Life Easier
Talking Books™ Program - Listen to
audiotapes and/or read books that promote positive thinking and deliver a healing
message. If reading or handling books is difficult for you, you may qualify
for free Talking Books™. The National Library of Congress provides the
Talking Books™ program for people who are blind or physically disabled.
Qualified individuals receive biographies, best sellers, classics, poetry, mysteries,
how-to, and self-help books, as well as popular magazines that are recorded
on audio cassette tapes. A special tape recorder is needed to play the tapes.
These recorders, as well as accessories like headphones, remote control units,
and amplifiers are available from the Talking Books™ program. All items
and services connected with this program are free. Even the postage on the books
is paid. You are eligible for Talking Books™ if you meet any of the following
criteria:
You are unable to read standard print without aids or devices other than
glasses or contact lenses.
You have a visual acuity of less than 20/200 or a visual field of 20 degrees
or less with correction.
You are unable to hold a book or turn a page.
You have a temporary loss of vision or use of your hands.
You have a medically documented reading disability.
To obtain more information or to sign up for this state and federally funded
program, contact your local library or the National Library Service for the
Blind and Physically Handicapped at (800) 424-9100; http://www.loc.gov/nls/
Books we recommend
When
Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (ISBN 1-57062-160-8)
by Pema Chodron. The author shares ways to use painful emotions to help you
gain insights, wisdom, compassion, and courage. She also suggests practices
for reversing our negative habitual patterns.
To Begin Again: The Journey Toward Comfort, Strength, and Faith in Difficult Times
(ISBN 0-345-41383-0) by Naomi Levy. The author uses her personal
experiences and those of others to help people heal the pain. Readers find
the strength they need to embrace life and reclaim their capacity to have
hope for the future.
4. Quotes of the Month
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.
Corrie Ten Boom
When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways—either
by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge
to find our inner strength.
Dalai Lama
Don’t defy the diagnosis. Try to defy the verdict.
Norman Cousins
In all things it is better to hope than despair.
Goethe
5. Questions of the Month
Each month we will pose 3 questions that come from you, our readers. We will
take your responses and share them in an upcoming issue of the Meeting Life's
Challenges E-zine. To send a question that you'd like us to pose to our subscribers,
send an E-mail to questions@sps.mailshell.com.
1. How do you keep your spirits up?
2. How do you handle putting on make up?
3. What do you do to help improve your memory?
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