Letting Go–Forgiveness
- Shelley Shares: A Message from Shelley
- Making Life Easier Tips: Friendships – New & Old
- Making Life Easier Services, Resources, and Products
- Quotes of the Month
- Questions for our Readers
1. Shelley Shares: Friendships – New & Old
I remember calling my cousin to tell her about my multiple sclerosis (MS)
diagnosis. Her response was to tell me that I must have a deep psychological
need to be sick and that if I went into therapy and dealt with the underlying
issues that were “making me sick,” I’d be healthy again.
Can you imagine? I was shocked and hurt by the insinuation that my medical
problems were “all in my head.”
That was 25 years ago, and, during the intervening years, I have learned
that I'm not the only one who has experienced the hurtful and insensitive
words of others. My guess is that you have, too. The question is, “Do
we let the negative words, actions, or feelings of other people eat away at
us? Or, do we let it go and move on?”
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but here are the strategies
for “moving on” that I have found helpful. Perhaps they’ll
help you.
2. Making Life Easier Tips – Moving On
Look at what might be behind the words or actions. Was it
said or done in jest? In the heat of an argument? Or, as an off-handed comment?
Sometimes people don’t think before they speak or act and have no idea
how what they have said or done has had such a hurtful EFFECT ON YOU.
Evaluate how well you know and care about the person. If
the person is someone you have known forever and have a history with, share
your feelings and tell the person how the words or actions affected you. Starting
with an “I” statement, like I felt…., I thought…,
I needed …, will open up a conversation. Starting with a “You”
statement, like You always…, You said… You think… will either
shut down the dialog or take your interaction in an argumentative direction.
Limit the amount of time you spend with negative or toxic people.
Are there people in your life who pull you down and drain your energy? When
you have a chronic illness you absolutely MUST limit the time you spend with
them. Don’t feel guilty when you avoid spending time with them, make
excuses for getting together, cut telephone calls short or screen your calls
with an answering machine. It’s self preservation. Love and respect
yourself enough to put yourself and your needs first.
Replace those who have hurt you or "let you down" with
people who lift your spirits. The world is filled with wonderful,
caring, and sensitive people. When you are able to connect with people who
exude a positive energy, you begin to heal. Opening yourself up to interesting,
enjoyable relationships helps you distance yourself from the pain a friend
or relative may have caused.
In our next issue, we will focus on building a positive support system that
gives you the strength, love, and energy you need to cope with life’s
challenges.
3. Services, Resources and Products for Making Life Easier
Listen to audiotapes with positive, uplifting messages.
Play these tapes everyday. Listen to them as you dress, drive your car, do
chores around the house, and get ready for bed. Eventually you’ll begin
to believe what you hear. The strength and energy you’ll gain from listening
to the tapes will help you replace the negative thoughts and the toxic people
in your life without feeling guilty.
Self-Esteem Peak Performance audio cassette (ISBN 1559770295)
by Jack Canfield
The tape shares techniques for strengthening relationships, and feeling good
about yourself and others. Designed to help you recharge your energy and enthusiasm
for your career, the tape delivers a positive message that helps you learn
about yourself and let go of fear and painful criticism. Click
here to order the Self-Esteem and Peak Performance audio cassette.
Make your own affirmation tapes. Record positive messages
like, “I'm a good person. I deserve to be happy. I find strength in
new challenges. I surround myself with positive energy. I have a smile on
my face.” Record at least 40 messages.
Books we recommend
Amazingly Simple Lessons We Learn After 50 (ISBN 0-87131-952-7)
by William Toulouse is a collection of stories that share lessons and wisdom
that enrich our lives in inspiring, touching, and entertaining ways. Click
here to order Amazingly Simple Lessons We Learn After 50.
4. Quotes of the Month
The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.
Jim
Rohn
There is no future in the past.
Unknown
Learn to let go. This is the key to happiness.
Buddha
The strong forgive, the weak remember.
Ecuadorian Proverb
5. Questions of the Month
Each month we will pose 3 questions that come from you, our readers. We will
take your responses and share them in an upcoming issue of the Meeting Life's
Challenges E-zine. To send a question that you'd like us to pose to our subscribers,
send an E-mail to questions@sps.mailshell.com.
1. How have you been able to get past the hurt of unkind words?
2. What do you do to pick yourself up when life knocks you down?
3. Where have you found helpful and supportive people?
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