Building a Support System
- Shelley Shares: Building a Support System
- Making Life Easier Tips: Building a Support System
- Making Life Easier Services, Resources, and Products
- Quotes of the Month
- Questions for our Readers
 1. Shelley Shares: Building a Support System
When people told me that I should attend multiple sclerosis (MS) support group meetings, I REFUSED to go. Even though I was in a wheelchair, I did not identify with “those people.” It took me 10 years. YES, 10 years to go to my first support group meeting. And when I did, it wasn’t to an MS support group. It was a “New Beginnings” group comprised of people living with all types of chronic illnesses. To me, it provided a “safe” environment in which to meet other people dealing with health-related issues. At least, I thought, I wouldn’t be confronted with pictures of what could be “my future.”
No matter how old you are or what stage your chronic illness is in, the journey to accepting your limitations and increasing disability is difficult. For me, it was exceedingly important to get the emotional support I needed. I couldn’t do it alone, nor could I depend only on my family and friends for all the support I needed.
How do you go about creating a support system that works for you? Perhaps my thoughts will help you.
2. Making Life Easier Tips: Building your Support System
Find support. If attending a (multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease, cancer, fibromyalgia, arthritis, etc.) support group is of no interest to you, ask your doctor if he/she has a patient you could communicate with via the phone.
Start your own small "support group" through your faith community or other organization in your community. Meeting for lunch or coffee with a few selected people may alleviate fears of the future, especially when you are with people who are still leading full and productive lives.
Organize a support group that is based on an interest or talent you have, like knitting, playing cards, reading, writing, exercising, etc. Some groups may have limited “time sensitive” appeal like La Leche or the Mother’s of 10-year olds group I started when my son was going through a difficult stage. The people in the group may not be able to identify with your illness per say, but they can provide opportunities to connect and share at pivotal times in your life.
Connect with people who are taking a drug or treatment you're considering. Ask your doctor to put you in touch with patients who are taking the medication or have undergone the treatment or procedure in question. Find out how effective it was and whether they had any adverse reactions to it.
Contact a mental health professional who has experience counseling people living with chronic illnesses. Even the most caring and loving friends can not provide the kind of support a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist can provide. Ask your personal physician to recommend someone or call the organization representing your chronic illness. Many have toll free numbers and Internet Web sites.
Consider taking medication. Feeling sad and depressed when you have a chronic illness is common. Many times those feeling can be a symptom of your illness. Part of the support system you need may include taking medications that lift your mood and your spirits. Be honest with yourself and your doctor and share what you’re going through with your physician.
Reach out using the Internet. Join a chat room, Yahoo group, or start your own interactive conversation with people who have a common interest, not necessarily related to your illness or disability. “Meeting” over the Internet allows you the privacy and anonymity that face-to-face meetings don’t.
In our next issue, we will focus on keeping a journal, and how it can help you cope with life’s challenges.
3. Services, Resources and Products for Making Life Easier
Take advantage of community resources.
Look in the newspaper for club activities and meeting schedules. Call United Way to see if they have groups you are interested in joining. Ask friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. for recommendations.
Contact your local Independent Living Center(ILC)
Every community in the US is part of a national network of ILCs. The more than 500 community-based, non-profit ILC’s serve people of all ages and disabilities and their families. Their goals are: information and referral, advocacy, peer support, & independent living skills training. The following are a few examples of their many services: 1) Assist you in finding out about disability services in your community; 2) Connect you with others to advocate for changes in the law or rules; 3) Help you hire and manage personal care attendants; and, 4) Put you in contact with people who have faced challenges similar to your own.
For a national directory of Independent Living Centers, contact the National Council on Independent Living; 1916 Wilson Boulevard, Suite 209; Arlington, VA 22201; 703-525-3406; TTY: 703-525-4153; Fax: 703-525-3409; http://www.ncil.org.
4. Quotes of the Month
When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.
Ethiopian Proverb
You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone. Cherish the special people in your life.
Charles Marcus
All men like to think they can do it alone, but a real man knows there's no substitute for support, encouragement or a pit crew.
Tim Allen
There is no support so strong as the strength that enables one to stand alone.
Ellen Glasgow
5. Questions of the Month
Each month we will pose 3 questions that come from you, our readers. We will take your responses and share them in an upcoming issue of the Meeting Life's Challenges E-zine. To send a question that you'd like us to pose to our subscribers, send an E-mail to questions@sps.mailshell.com.
1. How has writing in a journal helped you?
2. What have you learned about yourself?
3. What would you tell someone who is thinking about journaling?
|
